The MOLD Show

ItsOrlann:   did u see that new evga mobo that holds up 7 vcards?   who effin needs 7 vcards anyway?
Gaijinsmash123: hahaha… me.  you know i’ll buy that and put in 7 cards,  i’m crazy enough to do it
ItsOrlann: lol  turn it on and it will create a black hole. and will send u to the future. or maybe back in the wild wild west,  and the only way for u to come back is to build a train time machine
Gaijinsmash123: i could so do that,  but chicks back then didn’t bathe…. so they’d have crotch rot.  who wants moldy vagina?
ItsOrlann: lol  doc does, coz he married that one wench
Gaijinsmash123: apparently… but he was old,  old people don’t have standards
ItsOrlann:  true, well they do…its just very fuckin low  lol
Gaijinsmash123: hahaha
ItsOrlann: Doc’s standards: is she breathing? she’s good to go then
Gaijinsmash123: well… what if they’re dead but the body is still warm?
ItsOrlann: then doc has to act fast
Gaijinsmash123: exactly!
ItsOrlann: coz then he’ll be fighting against time!   like always!
Gaijinsmash123: you can “pretend” they’re sleeping
ItsOrlann: yea, but u’re gonna have to keep closing those eyes
Gaijinsmash123: that’s true… if they die with their eyes open… gah she won’t stop staring
ItsOrlann: if she gets cold, just pour hot water all over her
Gaijinsmash123: that’s nasty
ItsOrlann: lmao “oh shit her skin is flaking off”
Gaijinsmash123: see… that’s when you just stop
ItsOrlann: lol
Gaijinsmash123: hahaha
ItsOrlann: “oh shit, is that skin hanging off my….ok im done…f this”
Gaijinsmash123: hahaha… well if you’ve gone that far just finish the damn job,  you’ll thank yourself
ItsOrlann: lmao,  i can hear marty going “doc!! doc! wtf doc!” lol
Gaijinsmash123: marty! I’m uh… going back to the future in her vagina!
ItsOrlann: lmao!!

Diana:  u heard about roman polanski right?
Mike: something
      what’s up with rp
Diana: he got arrested in switzerland
Mike: that’s what i call him
Diana: after evading arrest for 30 years
       right..
       lol
Mike: cuz we’re tight like that
Diana: um
Mike: damn they got him
Diana: i dont think u want to associate urself with hi
Mike: nah man he’s cool as shit
Diana: anyways
       he finally got arrested
       and all these hollywood a-listers are rallying behind him
       more than 100 people signed a petition to release him
Mike: see
      dude is awesome sauce
Diana: thats so disturbing
       the guy plead guilty
       and fled.
       and got caught
       simple as that
Mike: there was this one time we were at a club
Diana: …
Mike: he introduced me to OJ
      O to the fucking J
      omg good times
Diana: ..
       mofo
       i’m not talking to u anymore

Note: For security purposes, the actual screen names have been replaced with names.

Mike: Kampai!

Orlann: *glug glug glug* ahhh..oishi!
        can we order sake at the oktoberfest…
        …

Mike: Only if it’s German…

Orlann: german sake!

Mike: German sake bomb!
      Would that be like a panzer attack

Orlann: well, hitler was friends with the emperor back in the 40’s, so u can say…sake is german, just like how falcor is a dragon, but also a dog

Mike: Or just an a bomb
      So true
      They were tight cuz they were both short
      Wait no I’m thinking of Napoleon

Orlann: well im pretty sure napoleon would’ve been one of the guys if he lived the same time

Mike: Yea
      Throwing back the sake

Mike: French sake

Orlann: mm…french sake served german style

Mike: In a stein
      Delivered by a buxom blonde

Orlann: mmm…buxom blonde….
        not too buxom, but mmm

Mike: Or is it servedin a huge shower like room

Orlann: so u just look up and open ur mouth?

Mike: With no windows and the shower heads emit a strange gas. And there’s no Germans in the room

Orlann: its a life-size oven!
        “we’re asians!!! let us outta here!!”

Mike: “not to mention Catholics…”
      “I voted for Arnold!!!!”

Orlann: “i eat crispy german knuckles!”

Mike: “I laugh whn the Germans say shnell shnell in video games!”

Orlann: “i like chocolates!”

Mike: Watch them let you out for that last statement
      Oh chocolates why didn’t you say so come have some fine Belgian chocolates
      You think the holocaust could have been avoided if the Jews just admitted their love of chocolate?
Mike: Probably not the Germans might think they mean some other kind of chocolate love.

Orlann: i think the germans thought the jews were obsessed with chocolate so they tried to bake em

Mike: Oh interesting
      So as punishment for their chocolate love
      They were forced to endure the same process as that which they are enamored to.
      Just like chocolates once they melt you can’t bring them back to the same state

Orlann: yea, chocolates melt, they found out that jews dont..

Mike: I had to throw away a whole canister of Andes mints cuz they melted

Orlann: noooooo

Mike: Should I have made a ditch and buried them in remembrance?

Orlann: u could’ve dug up a ditch, and lined up the melted andes mins and u know the drill…

Mike: Shot them with an airsoft replica of a german rifle
      Got it
      I won’t be able to do the same with chocolate covered macadamia nuts
      They’re Hawaiian

Orlann: hmm…well u can try mixing it with other shit, u know..just experiment on em….

Mike: I could just put them on a big boat then throw paper airplanes at them
      Til they sink

Orlann: u can

Mike: Yell kamikaze everytime I throw one
      Or Tora tora tora

Orlann: tora tora tora bang bang bang
        the bang bang bang adds a little more rythm

Orlann: i just remembered this and i think its funny
        lol
        one time, me, louis, tez, and jeff were watching some drifting competition on tez’ computer
        its in japan
        and all the competitors were japanese
        someone crashed and they had to clean up…
        they were using the traditional japanese broom to clean up the wreckage
        Louis goes “look they’re soooo asian using those brooms hahahahahaha”
        I wanted to say  “yea…coz they’re asians…and its also in Japan…which is in Asia….”

Mike: Lmao
      Yea what does he expect
      Some Mexican to come and clean up?
      …

Orlann: hahaha
        then a mexican really comes out and cleans up
        with the blowers and some lawn mowers

Mike: Hahaha then a truck drives up and he jumps in the back

Orlann: and some mariachi music plays while they clean up and fades out while the mexicans exit

Mike: Drops them off at home depot

Orlann: the the competition resumes like nothing happened
        homu deepu

Mike: Hahaha can you imagine they pick them up at home depot and they drift on the way back
      “whoever hangs on gets paid!”

Orlann: 1 guy falls of…”noooo esteban!”

Mike: “dios mio!”
      Another guy pukes cuz he had too much Tecate the night before

Orlann: haha and this guy comes out “thats why i prefer dos equis”

Mike: The last guy is shaking in his cowboy boots and hat Crying and talking about el diablo

Louis:    yah it sucks.
Louis:    i don’t play video games at home
Jose:    you’re old!
Louis:    i don’t have anyone to play against
Louis:    LOL
Louis:    i do wanna play that shadow complex, but i’m trying to really get good at playing piano
Louis:    my new game
Jose:    ahhh
Jose:    my brother knew how to play piano
Jose:    but then he found out it’s for the gays
Louis:    gonna take my piano keyboard to santa monica 3rd street promanade
Jose:    LOL
Louis:    ROFLMAo
Louis:    what a bish
Jose:    lol
Jose:    taht’s cool
Jose:    we won’t judge you
Louis:    hahahaha
Jose:    http://www.pianoworld.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Forum/2/topic/009558/Number/0/site_id/1#import
Louis:    lmao
Louis:    It is said that musicians, specially pianists, who are male are suspected to be gays.
Louis:    wtf?
Jose:   
Jose:    you said it not me
Louis:    how did you find that so quick?
Louis:    you’re fast
Jose:    wasn’t elton john playing the piano?
Louis:    lol
Louis:    omfg, don’t remind me
Jose:    i LIVe in the internet man
Louis:    Maybe a better question is: are gays drawn to the piano or does all that piano-playing tend to make some people gay?
Louis:    roflmao
Louis:    this shit better not make me gay
Louis:    fuck
Louis:    now i’m self consience about this shit
Louis:    why jose? why?!? i was insecure already. but to add this on top of it?
Jose:    lol
Jose:    maybe being gay is your destiny
Louis:    i don’t believe in destiny
Jose:    maybe deep down you wanted to come out, and you’re using the piano as your outing
Louis:    and i just learned how to play “Apologize by one republic” too. its too late to change my sexuality….it’s too late!!
Louis:    daym so sad.
Jose:    LLOL
Louis:    dammit, now i’m reading more on that freakin piano world forum
Louis:    discouraging
Jose:    HHAHAHA
Jose:    that’s why you can’t tell me stuff

Orlann: haha wtf, im watching this news online
        and its about child safety, so they’re interviewing this ex-pedophile
        he’s giving parents pointers on how to make kids less attractive to pedophiles
        and the way he was introduced on tv, “now terry actually kidnapped and sexually molested children for over 20 yrs…”
        lol

Mike: How do you look less attractive to a pedophile?
      Grow facial hair?
      Look like an older midget?

Orlann: lol man if only i can show u this video

Mike: Lol

Orlann: a midget hahaha

Mike: Dude

Orlann: Would a pedophile resort to molesting midget if they cant find any children around?

Mike: So would a midget be the perfect mate for a pedophile

Orlann: hahaha
        I think we made a breakthrough

Orlann: lol
        its not children that pedophiles want, its the midgets!

Mike: Yes!

Orlann: we should make a dating site, midgets and pedo crazies

Mike: Saving children’s virginity through midgets
      So they can get raped later in life.

Orlann: hahha

Diana: hey mike
       good morning
Mike:  Morning!
       
       How are you doing?
Diana: good
       u?
Mike:  Good
       What did you end up doing today?
       Err yesterday
Diana: went over to henrys..made them rehash their fun night
       then hung out with jake for a bit at his place
       u?
Mike:  Laundry and played some l4d with Orlann
Diana: what's that?
Mike:  Left 4 dead
       Killing zombies
Diana: ooh
       i thought it was 14d
Mike:  14d we could make that a game
       Lol hmm
       14 days
Diana: lol
Mike:  It's about when terrorists take over the us for 14 days
Diana: haha
       just for 14 days
Mike:  And you're the only man/woman/shim that can stop them
Diana: not a day hour minute more
       HAHA shim
       so its a game for tranvestites?
Mike:  Well it takes you 14 days
       You start off a a girl and as you progress you just get more masculine
       as you mow down your foes
Diana: ...
       so what..when u power up..u add more male characteristics?
       ..an adams apple here..a nut there
Mike:  Lol shit I dunno I would totaly not play this game
Diana: HAHAHA
       lol
Mike:  At the end instead of camel toe there's this bulge in her pants
Diana: ,,,,'kik
       lol
Mike:  And no that's not a gun in her pocket she's happy to see her enemies
Diana: i couldn't even type correctly
       ....
       a little too happy
Mike:  Haha

Mike: dude
Mike: they’re going to remake battle royale
Orlann: american version of battle royale?
Orlann: its not gonna be as good
Mike: it could be!
Mike: if they got hot bitches
Mike: fighting in hot baby oil
Orlann: lol
Mike: in school girl outfits
Mike: but then it’s in grass
Mike: so they get their outfits dirty….
Mike: so they have to stop fighting to do laundry
Mike: cause it’s a school, they have regulations
Orlann: bar-b-q
Mike: wtfbbq
Mike: i was thinking soapy laundry scene with half naked bitches
Orlann: how about bitches covered with bbq sauce
Orlann: mmmm
Mike: that’s afterwards
Mike: because doing laundry gets a girl hungry
Mike: but..uh oh….looks like they’re out of weiners…and all they’ve got is their buns
Orlann: well i can take care of that

Here’s an old chatlog Orlann and I had a while back.

Orlann: so when are u expecting alyssa’s kid?  u guys got any eta?
Mike: no idea
Mike: whenever he gets approved
Orlann: hmm..when he gets here…u guys should change his name to Murphy
Mike: Murphy?
Orlann: yes
Orlann: that sounds mean
Orlann: perhaps even gangsta
Mike: like Robocop?
Mike: wasn’t that Robocop’s name?
Orlann: “My friends call me Murphy”
Orlann: hahaha
Orlann: “error…error….”
Orlann: “security breached! security breached!”
Mike: before he became the badass killing machine
Orlann: “Robocop…you’re on crack!”
Mike: haha
Mike: having a gun hidden in your leg is cool and all
Mike: but i mean, you gotta think of the bitches
Mike: how’s he gonna get some play
Orlann: lol
Orlann: Robocop was the shit back then
Mike: haha you know what’s ironic about what you said
Orlann: no..what
Mike: Alyssa’s son has been watching Robocop
Mike: and loves it
Orlann: really?
Orlann: hahaha
Mike: yea
Orlann: dude, im telling u, its the Jesus power
Orlann: lol
Mike: lol
Orlann: I liked all the Robocop movies
Mike: yea
Orlann: the 3rd one especially coz that girl partner dies in the movie
Mike: hahaha
Mike: yea she was annoying
Mike: she shoulda given robocop some play
Mike: at least a reach around
Orlann: although I wish Robocop could’ve done as good as the acting darth vader did when he found out natalie portman died
Orlann: “noooooooo”
Mike: ….
Mike: hahahaha
Orlann: fucking reach around…reach around where?  “oh yes…click my button!  click it!”
Mike: “No bitch that’s the lever for my gun….look for my other gun…what…what do you mean I don’t have an….nooooooooooo”
Orlann: hahahaha
Orlann: robocop talking dirty: my gun is getting rust…i need to lube it…”
Orlann: rusty*
Mike: haha
Mike: “I’ll have to arrest you ma’am”
Mike: “But why?”
Mike: “Because it’s a crime to be so sexy!….”
Mike: bowchicabowow
Orlann: *tink tank tink bzzzz grrr* prepare to be infiltrated!!!